I have honestly never been a “gamer” but recently joined the bandwagon with Words with friends and now this. I actually find it a great way to have a little causal contact and lots of laughs with my 83 year old mom. Never considering myself an artist, I approached this with the opportunity to learn something about myself and the brain. I have definitely learned a few things from this game that are metaphors for real life.

1. It is often not the object itself, but what is added in around it, that gives it context and meaning and makes it recognizable. For example I may not see or guess sofa until a lamp is added next to it.
2. Using this right side of the brain to try to communicate something to someone else…(visually) is a good exercise for me… what is it I need to show them completely so they “get” what I am trying to say?
3. When I am receptive and just watch them draw (ie: listen with my eyes) my intuition will often come up with the word for the picture WAY before I might expect.

SO with all that said, I also just love finding my inner artist and am enjoying lots of laughs along the way.

What are your own personal patterns that keep you stuck and feeling helpless? …what if you were here to help others overcome the very same thing? What if you could use what you have learned to help someone else? Now THAT is something to feel passionate about.

Why do I even bring this up? This parallels something I see in working with coaching clients often…It is the hardships and trials you go through that give you your depth and soul. It is the challenges we overcome, that make us who we are and that can reveal our greatest gifts. Reflect back in your own life at obstacles you have overcome and see if you can recognize how they have served you on your own journey, made you more of who you are and made you more passionate about something.

So although I am truly sorry for Katy and her recent blip… I feel her music is richer. I think the lesson learned is that the “part of me” she sings about ie: her soul, can now be more fully revealed because of the pain she has endured. I feel more connected to her as an artist, like she is more “real” and vulnerable. It is in THAT space where we can truly connect…way more than we can with plastic bags, fireworks, cherry chapstick and Friday night…

Q: What inspired you to start your own business?
A: I wanted to find a way to truly help nonprofit organizations improve their fundraising. There’s no centralized repository of best practices in fundraising and I wanted to help make a positive change.

Q: How is your business a reflection of your own personality and passions?
A: I really love helping others – those who want to make a difference in our society. Whereas I enjoy speaking on relevant philanthropic topics, I derive enjoyment much more from being behind-the-scenes than in-front. I think that may surprise some people!

Q: What is your “bigger why” of being in business? (think why is it so important to you to do what you do)?
A: Helping others really is my life. Western civilization, in general, and the United States, in particular, sees the art and science of giving back as a fundamental aspect of who we are. If these nonprofit organizations can be more successful it provides greater return to those people, projects, and animals they serve.

Q: Three words that describe the essence of you and your business (don’t be shy!)?
A:

• Collaborative. I hate cliché’s but the phrase “there’s no ‘I’ in team” is so true. Especially with the importance of social media we must all work together to achieve things that are bigger than ourselves.
• Strategic. Especially as it pertains to nonprofit endeavors, the over-arching goals should drive the tactical implementation. That, indeed, is a philosophy I follow in life, as well. Although sometimes it is a kick to just mix it up!
• Fun. At this point in my live the time I allocate to projects must derive some level of enjoyment and satisfaction for both me and those around me. From a business perspective, I strongly believe that employees are much more efficient and effective if they are recognized for their contributions and enjoy what they do.

Q: What is your Geatest Lesson learned: Something you have learned about yourself in the process of becoming a female entrepreneur?
A: When things don’t go as planned you need to adapt.

Q: What is your secret luxury or indulgence?

A: No doubt about it: Foot reflexology! I go at least once/week to Wonderfoot Spa on 27th at Geary (don’t tell anyone or it’ll get too booked To use the term ‘Spa’ is way too elaborate. The interiors are awful (basement?) but

1. the ‘therapists’ (if you can call them that) are good, especially David and Anna (not their real names – who knows what those are in Chinese);
2. They don’t speak a lick of English so you don’t have to talk except for cryptic pleasantries; and
3. The price is right – $30 for 70 minutes. Pure heaven.

Q: What are your favorite restaurant(s)?
A: Geographically:

• Ringside in Portland OR (www.ringsidesteakhouse.com). Hometown restaurant. Incredible steak, onion rings and a slice of iceberg lettuce with French/bleu cheese dressing. Every time I go home to Portland I MUST indulge!!
• Frascati (www.frascatisf.com). Neighborhood restaurant on Russian Hill. Their Bread Salad is great and the staff is friendly.
• Jardiniere (www.jardiniere.com). Civic center. Now their Bread Salad beats out Frascati. I’m so partial to this restaurant for SO many reasons, including A. food; B. staff, C. wine selection by the glass, and D. their sommelier is a dear friend and the teacher of my wine club!
• Murray Circle (www.cavallopoint.com). Romantic restaurant. At Cavallo Point at Ft. Baker in Sausalito. Although so close, and with great views of the city, you feel a million miles away from the hustle and bustle.
• Casanova (www.casanovarestaurant.com). Carmel. Since my daughter goes to school down there I have experienced many of the great spots in what can definitely be designated as a foodie town. Casanova never disappoints.
• Don Giovanni (www.bistrodongiovanni.com). Napa. There’s something so homey about this restaurant that is on the east side of Hwy 29 north of Napa. It’s a gift to the valley.

Q: What are your favorite shoe(s)?
A: Again, I must segment:

• Flats. Anyi Lu. Their ‘Cate’ flat is literally the most comfortable shoe I’ve ever worn. I don’t particularly like the rest of their line – a bit too old-school. And it’s not particular cheap. But the Cate flat, to me, is well worth the $375 at Nordstrom. Better than slippers!
• Stylish flats. Roger Vivier. Again, not for the faint of heart when it comes to price point. But every time I wear a pair of RV’s, even their flats, I feel special. Their store in NYC is divine although you can still get them at Neiman’s in SF, I believe.
• Heels. Cole Haan. Owned by Nike they have those wonderful ‘Air Nike’ cushioned soles on many of their heeled shoes. Feels like you’re walking on air!
• Stilettos. Christian Louboutin. Duh! (although these days I just look admiringly, and a bit painfully, at my daughter wearing them)

Q: What Book(s) do you consider worth reading?
A:

• Fiction. Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh my gosh, my total guilty pleasure! My motto: Come for the sex, stay for the story. Eat your heart out, Danielle Steele!
• Non-fiction. Made To Stick. It’s about how to create your brand, whether personally or professionally.

Now let’s talk about MY books…
• Fiction. Finedale. The story is about a woman who thinks she sees her husband having an affair and is coerced by friends to sort out her life at a women-only ‘spa’. There, she gets her self-esteem back, a new career, even flirting techniques. She leaves after 4 weeks and divorces her husband and wins big. Then she proceeds to lose it all. Finedale was not what it seemed. Release date: Fall 2012.
• Non-fiction. Bootstrap Fundraising. This quick read give volunteer leaders and event chairs the tools to create and tune new fundraising events that generate profits and engage communities. Release date: Summer 2012.

Q: What do you consider a dream vacation?
A:

• Anything with first-class travel on a wide-body jet (love the ‘cubicle’s’).
• Aman resorts…anywhere.
• I’ve done it before but I want to do it more often – hiking in the Bernese Oberland in Switzerland. Then back to the Victoria Jungfrau in Interlaken for spa treatments. Dinners spent in little Alps villages within a fifty mile radius.

Q: What women have inspired you?
A:

• Jane Inch. What an incredible business she is spearheading to help other women.
• Nancy Lublin. CEO of www.dosomething.org. Nancy is the founder of Dress For Success and went on to run dosomething, the nonprofit that engages teens as volunteers and activists. Nancy sat on a panel I moderated at the UN in NYC September 2010. She was very impressive and engaging.
• Candace Bushnell. Okay, I know, it’s Sex in the City. But Candace has done an incredible job: A. creating her own brand (see Made To Stick book recommendation above); B. making the urban lifestyle not totally superficial; and, C. letting us all have a bit of fun as women. Period.

To learn more about Layne Gray you can visit her website and follow her online at:
Website: www.laynegray.com | www.vivanista.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/laynegray1
Twitter: www.twitter.com/laynegray

This month’s Celebrity Spotlight features San Francisco’s Marybeth La Motte. Owner of Red Carpet Bay Area, a television show and website. Red Carpet Bay Area, the television show and the website, created by MBL Media Productions, an Emmy Award winning, full-service film and video production company specializing in the unique needs of events, the fashion and luxury sectors.

Q: What inspired you to start your own business?
A: I always wanted to start my own business, and one day I turned 40 and thought: if not now, when?

Q: How is your business a reflection of your own personality and passions?
A: I decided my business would combine everything I liked most from my varied careers: fashion, philanthropy, video production and being an active and contributing member of the community.

Q: What is your “bigger why” of being in business?
A: Good question. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning. I get depressed when I have nothing to do.

Q: Three words that describe the essence of you and your business.
A: Fashionable, philanthropic, social

Q: What is the greatest lesson you have learned?
A: That’s a hard question…I guess not to take rejection personally, it’s a business decision. Because I am constantly searching for sponsors for my television show and website, I face rejection daily.

Q: Your secret luxury or indulgence?
A: Turning off the computer and phone and snuggling with my son.

Q: What are some of your favorite restaurants?
A: I love Greek food: Dio Deka in Los Gatos (www.diodeka.com) and Kokkari (www.kokkari.com) in San Francisco are excellent. I also crave Mexican food with California flair from Tacolicious (www.tacolicioussf.com) (the jalapeno margaritas are addictive). Going out to dinner is a rare treat for me. I have an 8-year old son and I make dinner at home most nights; we eat as a family at 6:00 sharp.

Q: What are yout favorite shoes?
A: Most of anything designed by Bryan Atwood or Gucci.

Q: What books do you suggest reading?
A: The Classics.I can’t get enough of them. Right now my son and I are reading Aesop’s Fables and I am fascinated.

Q: What is your dream vacation?
A: The Beach; balmy nights, soft sand and warm ocean swimming.

Q: Who are the women who have inspired you?
A: I look for and find inspiration in people I see and interact with every day. Some examples of women who have inspired me: Nicole Klapman, my first boss; Janice Mabry, Red Carpet Bay Area’s writer; Jean Gwinner, my husband’s grandmother; Lyhn Haller, a friend who has stuck by me, doesn’t judge, tells me the truth, makes me think, and is there for me in good times and in bad; Cheryl Bartlett, my sister, who is also an entrepreneur.

To learn more about Marybeth La Motte you can visit her website and follow her online at:
Website: www.redcarpetsf.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/redcarpetbayarea
Twitter: www.twitter.com/RedCarpetBA

I have always loved the Valentine’s conversation hearts. What’s not to love- the pretty pastels, off centered type, hard, soft, chalky, crunch- even the fact that they get stuck on your teeth. Some things just remind you of all of the wonderful years and all the childhood Valentines memories. I always anxiously waited for the day as a child. Classmates would reach out and give you something special- no matter what…a card, candy, glittery stickers…whatever. I remember shoebox mailboxes on the desks, cupcakes and red hots.

And then we grew up- and aside from the red roses from my husband, (which I do love) the whimsy of the holiday was kind of left behind with my youth.

Interestingly enough, I noticed today that Valentine’s day entered my adult life in a way that it hadn’t before. It came to life again for me. Why? I believe it is because we are all much more connected than we were – even a few short years ago. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest…my social media “go to” hubs all brought me closer to those I care about. I received wishes, got ideas, saw recipes and lovely pictures, articles and other Valentines related inspiration. I also received paperless post valentines from a few pals. I realized that it put me in the spirit and I felt a renewed sense of enthusiasm and just a little lift. I ran out to get cupcakes and cards for my husband and son. Having love and kindness on my mind had an impact on myself, and those around me.

Social Media, as we call it -can really indeed connect us…change our moods, make us feel a part of something bigger. As I reflect back upon my day, I do notice how important the little things are that keep us connected, inspired and a part of the conversation….

1. Don’t compare yourself to those around you. This goes for biz and life. Period.
2. Stay out of judging people and sizing people up with first impressions. Every time I slip and do this, I then learn the story and realize why I was wrong to do this.
3. Everyone has a story and everyone is dealing with something. It may be different than your something but it is just as important.
4. Unplugging from real life is where the creativity and magic can happen.
5. Women together are a powerful force and connecting with like minded women keeps you moving in the direction you want to go and you can stay inspired!
6. We all need a tribe. Who’s yours?

Nine things I learned from a Rock Star that helped me understand the modern day woman

1. We all have a song inside of us

2. We all want to be seen and heard

3. We want to share our gifts with the world

4. We want to be resonant, current, relevant with a message

5. We want to be a part of something bigger

6. We want to feel inspired and daring

7. We want to work our edge. Whatever that looks like for each of us…

8. Staying connected and in touch keeps you youthful. Communications/social media are an important part of staying connected and in many ways…young

9. We all want to sing our song to the world and have the world sing it back to us and reflect what it is that we stand for

“Every choice in life either makes you feel better or worse about yourself”  – unknown

“The world is your runway, never stop modeling”. – Charleston Pierce

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” -Bill Cosby

“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” – Steven Pressfield

Luck is preparation meeting opportunity – Oprah

All of your relationships are a reflection of who you are and who you could be. So, if you want to improve the relationship you have or find great love, you must take a close look in the mirror.” -Colette Baron-Reid